Recording Companies' Newest Idiocy

They say people are infringing copyrights by annoying me with their ringtones.

Don't Go Where They're Going

Did the story of the couple who, on their vacations, have accidentally witnessed 9/11, July 7 in London, and the Mumbai attacks get any traction last winter? This is the first I've seen it.

They sound like connoisseurs of carnage now. But I guess you'd be sick of having vacations ruined by terrorists too.

Crazy Counties -- Egomaniacal Attorneys

I've been trying to keep up with articles about iPhone and Blackberry mistrials. This one notes, "In Malheur County, Ore., jurors are not allowed to bring cell phones to court at all."

Is it really worthwhile to point this out? I lived in Oregon for about 22 years and I have never heard of Malheur County. That is because it is in that part of Oregon that weirdly borders Nevada and somehow found a way to be in the godforsaken Mountain Time Zone. With a population of 30,000 spread over 10,000 square miles, I doubt that Malheur County would ever have a problem with jurors who tweet excessively, and it may not even have reception for any handheld devices other than satellite phones.

[Malheur County, by the way, borders Harney County, which was named for William S. Harney, a cavalry officer who was involved in the Pig War, which was a dispute over the San Juans between the U.S. and Britain. The war only produced one casualty: a pig.]

And notice that that article was re-posted on Josh Marquis's blog, probably because the article quotes Marquis a few times. Marquis is the DA in the slightly more populous and influential Clatsop County (35,000 people; they filmed Goonies there). Over the last few years, Marquis has rather blatantly attempted to launch a Democratic political career by commenting nationally on every goddamn legal issue that makes the news.

But he can barely hide his true ideological leanings. Scalia cited one of his pro-death penalty articles, and this is how he met his wife:

Marquis and Cindy Price met in 1995 on a Court TV-sponsored AOL message board devoted to the then raging O.J. Simpson trial. Cindy was a former analyst at a conservative think tank. Josh Marquis was a liberal Democrat. The one thing they had in common was their belief in Simpson’s guilt. Marquis, Price and other members of the pro-prosecution group split off into a private e-mail group. When about 50 members of the group met in California, Marquis and Price came face to face and immediately hit it off. From this point, the e-mail messages turned romantic and they married in 1996.)

Interestingly, Marquis's biggest naysayer has been an attorney who parlayed his job working for the Brooklyn Public Defender into a bestselling book, a teaching gig, and a TV show staring Zach Morris, which seems to be the sort of thing Marquis is gunning for, if he never gets to run for senator or governor.

Complaint: "Mile High Sexual Harassment"

From Riches v. Iverson

Pity the Lawyers

Don't tell me that this is not some sort of crisis. Thousands of people are graduating every year with $100,000 or more in debt, and they are lucky to land jobs that make $50,000 a year and require a 60-70 hour per week commitment.

It all makes the other American dream look a lot better. (The other American dream is getting hit in the knee with a hammer and then faking disability for 30 years or getting paid by four different companies to spend all day getting drunk in a tunnel that was supposed to be finished 19 years ago.)

The Terror of Tinytown

I wanted to say something about likely nominees for Public Printer of the U.S. (really), but I suddenly felt compelled to see if this crazy video my uncle gave me once is on YouTube. It is. (Beware, it's really creepy.)



I don't think he really owned the midgets, I think they just performed under the name "Jed Beull's Midgets," but I might be wrong.

Transformers 2

Every year a couple of friends and I eat pot cookies and go see a summer blockbuster.  Our most recent viewing was Transformers 2 in IMAX.  

I thought that this movie was, in it's own way, amazing.  Because what else can you watch that is simultaneously:

a car commercial
an Army recruiting video
a Shakespearian drama
a Highlander-style sci-fi Scottish clan drama
a Ran-style Japanese clan drama
an alien movie
a movie about futuristic robots
a toy commercial

a bunch of crappy nostalgia for people in their 30's and 40's who will never ever grow up

a series of absurdly enormous explosions that almost succeed in giving Michael Bay an erection
a dragon movie

an allegory for U.S. involvement in the Middle East (I thought this was even more true of the first Transformers--because what else am I supposed to think is going on in a story where the U.S. military is thrown into an ancient battle over control of a powerful, mystical cube and I'm stoned?) 
and racist in a what-the-hell-were-they-thinking? Star Wars Episode 1 kind of way?  

Also, Megan Fox is pretty in a way that borders on pornographic even when she is mostly clothed.  I hope that the people who choose female leads for movies like this will now get off the treadmill of finding these girls using a combination of Mickey Mouse Club yearbooks, nepotism, the casting couch, and actual acting ability, and will start to make these decisions based only on looks.  And I no longer hate Shia Labeouf for not being Harrison Ford.  I've almost learned to live with him as a sort of Michael J. Foxish awkward kid who may someday stop looking like he's twelve and learn how to act. 

Despite all that, there apparently are people who enjoyed Transformers 2 on even more levels than I did. That's right, it was apparently also rife with Illuminati symbolism about events to come!!!! Haven't you noticed the all-seeing eye of Megatron on the back of the Sacajawea dollar?  (That website is actually kind of entertaining, because it's obvious that in about a year the guy who runs it is going to tell all his readers, "Fuck you idiots, I was joking. 'Fred Flinstone Was a Mason' didn't tip you off?")