I Didn't Eat that Fuckin' Sandwich

In addition to being bad at math and science, our children are apparently also writing subpar suicide notes before massacring eight people. This one, by Robert Hawkins, the gunman in Omaha this past week, has many flaws. Most notably the postscript. A suicide note should not include a postscript unless it is such a biting and insightful remark that it will completely change the reader's perception of the suicide and its causes. Hawkins either did not think through what he was going to write and was forced to include a "p.s." as an afterthought--which is a major faux pas--or he thought that "P.s. I didn't eat that fuckin sandwich or that toielet thing either!" would be the perfect remark to give new meaning to his crimes. And now he will have to be known as the kid who killed eight people and himself because he didn't want his friends to think that he ate that fucking sandwich. Let this be a lesson to all the kids out there planning murder/suicides.