Hang Clemens

Why are they going through with all of this? I believe in giving people a lot of meaningless legal process, even to the point that it'll probably get me nuked someday, but we should really just decree that Clemens is a juicer who has buttsex with Andy Pettite and tell him to shut up and go back to his enormous ranch and beat his dog (whose name begins with a K).

In 1997, when I started pitching for a college in Boston, one of the first things I was told is that Clemens is on steroids. This was when it was only obvious but not yet reported that half of the MLB was juicing, but it was assumed to only be position players using steroids. They said, "Here is your windbreaker, and did you know that Clemens is a juicer?" I wasn't surprised. After all, he has the anger of ten men.