Rex

Please adopt my parents' dog. (And please don't judge my parents--they are moving and can't take an enormous labrador with them.) If you've met him, you know that he will make you happy. If I thought I could get him out here in one piece, I would take him myself, landlord be damned. But I can't. Although he is incarcerated, you can tell from his expression that he is very innocent.

Update: Adopt him until March, and then I'll come pick him up.